Kiss the Girl
by librastar
Summary: Sakura was sure that she had kissed many more frogs and idiots than princes at this stupid Kissing Booth Fiesta. Special guest appearances from One Piece, Bleach, Kuroshitsuji, Fairy Tail and Pokemon - crack.


**Disclaimer:** As always, I can't claim credit for the wonderful world of Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Pokemon, Fairy Tail and Kuroshitsuji because all characters, and references are the copyright of their respective authors (Masashi Kishimoto, Tite Kubo, Eiichiro Oda, Satoshi Tajiri, Hiro Mashima and Yana Toboso). Everything else is simply a figment and work of my imagination.

**A/N**: Warning: pure crack and lame humour.

**Kiss the Girl**

It had been the most highly anticipated event in years. It seemed like everyone who was anyone was there.

"_Sugoi_! I've never been in such close proximity to so many handsome men before!" Ino's eyes had been replaced by heart shapes, as she shamelessly drooled and stared at the legions of males walking around her. "Luckily, I decided to wear a skirt today."

Sakura rolled her eyes, before pointing to the nearest sign. "And luckily, it says kisses are restricted to the cheek."

The blonde kunoichi pouted. "You can bet I won't be putting up that sign on my booth later!" She grinned. "Hey while we're here, I'm sure we can find a boring side character to hook you up with!"

"Shut it, Ino-pig," she growled. "The whole point of this Kissing Booth Fiesta is to raise money for charity, not as some kind of giant speed-dating game!"

"Ah…you're no fun, forehead."

…

She felt the yellow whiskers tickle her nose as she leaned over to receive her first kiss…

"Pika…"

Sakura sneezed.

"…CHOOOO!" They both yelled simultaneously.

"_Yare yare_," Ino scowled, wiping her front vigorously with a handkerchief. "You won't be attracting any main characters like this!"

….

"That will be twenty pieces of meat, please."

"Huh?" she snapped. "Twenty ryo you mean."

Luffy shook his head vigorously, sinking his teeth into an enormous fried chicken leg. "Didn't you see the sign outside my booth?"

"What are you talking about straw-hat boy?"

The Pirate captain shrugged. "Payment by meat only."

"SHANNARO!"

"Sweet angel!" Sakura suddenly found her fist held back and her waist encircled by a blond, suited man with eyebrows so suspiciously curly they looked almost like the swirls on a lollipop. He gave her a wink that he obviously thought was charming, before handing her a rose while on bended knee. "Will you do me the honour of bestowing me with a kis…"

"Cut it out, curly-brows." To her horror, the blonde was knocked out cold by a burly young man who looked like he wouldn't have been out of place in a samurai movie. Sheathing his sword, the green-haired (!) guy gave an impatient snort before turning to Sakura. "Don't mind him, he hits on anything in a skirt. Got any sake?"

The kunoichi was about to reply when the suited young man suddenly sprang up again, exuding a fiery aura. "You shitty marimo! Robbing me of this lovely blossom's…"

The moss-headed samurai grinned manically at the seething blonde. "I'd like to see you try landing a hit on me. Santoryu…"

"Oi Zoro, Sanji."

The two Straw Hats turned to look at their Captain, veins visibly throbbing at the irritation the other had caused

Luffy serenely took another bite of his fried chicken. "She's already gone to Law's tent."

….

"My booth's been so quiet for ages," Naruto whined, his right hand stifling a huge yawn. "Oi _teme_!" he called to the booth someway down his right. "Any girls dropped by your booth this last hour or so?"

The Uchiha poked his head out. "Thankfully, no. Just little boys wanting me to sign their Naruto playstation games."

"Hum. That's odd. Wonder what's going on."

As the two shinobi walked among the rows of kissing booths, it suddenly hit them that there were only males in every booth. Every female in the vicinity seemed to have vanished into thin air.

"_Teme_," Naruto looked serious. "Do you think this whole event was just some sinister plot to kidnap all the girls from every manga/anime on the planet?"

"Hn I hope not…"

As they rounded the corner, they suddenly came face to face with a ten thousand strong crowd of what seemed like every female in the convention. The only non-females were two figures on stage: a blue haired boy of around thirteen and a tall man clad in an elegant, pitch-black butler uniform.

"Aha! To the blonde gentleman in orange, you will be the lucky winner of the grand prize: a signed first edition life-size Ciel Phantomhive plushie. Catch!"

Sasuke backed away nervously as the five foot three plushie made a graceful arc in the air before hitting Naruto squarely on the head. He awkwardly caught hold of it, before giving the doll's eye-patch an experimental poke.

A split-second of silence, before Sasuke felt his hands being torn off by the mob of crazed fangirls who had suddenly descended on him.

"Don't touch him!"

"You hurt Ciel-chan!"

"He's mine!"

"You boyfriend stealer!"

"Get off me!" He roared in panic, before his voice was drowned by the screaming rabble. Somewhere underneath him, he felt Naruto groan as hundreds of high heels stabbed into his aching back. "_ITAI_, IT HURTS!"

"Sebastian." Ciel turned to the smirking butler beside him, an irritated sigh escaping his lips at the frenzy before him. "Make sure they don't destroy my plushie."

Sebastian's grin grew wider, as he knelt down before his little master. "Yes, my lord."

….

"Do you know anyone by the name of Igneel?"

"Urr...no?"

He sighed. "And there I was hoping that with your hair, you were somehow related to me."

Sakura looked confused. "Say what again?"

The tiny blue cat beside them clapped his paws excitedly. "Natsu, I think she liiiiiiikes you!"

She opened her mouth to protest. "Hey, that's not…"

The Dragon Slayer took the opportunity to quickly give her a peck on the lips.

"Wow, now I'm getting all fired up!" He grinned cheekily at her.

"After you're done with flame-breath here, you can have a turn with me."

The kunoichi turned around to see a half-naked Gray wink at her, before peering into Natsu's booth. "Did I leave my clothes here by any chance?"

"What did you call me?" Natsu roared, throwing his seat back and balling his fists. "Why would she want a kiss from you anyway, you snowman stripper?"

"Bring it on, flame brain," Gray snickered, cracking his knuckles. "Ice-Make…!"

"Fire Dragon's…!"

"AHHHH!" Sakura ran for cover as the booth exploded in a shower of sparks and ice crystals.

Startled by the explosion, Erza hurried over from the next booth. "What are you two playing at?" she thundered, surveying the wreckage of the booth with a mixture of horror and annoyance.

Two charred heads popped out the flames, with their arms slung around each other's shoulders. "Nothing, Erza," they trilled. "Just playing with fireworks."

…

It was almost closing time and Sakura felt like she had kissed more frogs and idiots than princes in the past six hours.

"At least I managed to make a couple of hundred ryo," she smiled. "I'll just pick up a snack before packing up my booth."

"Looks interesting." She stopped at the first stall in front of her, before glancing at the signboard. "D…O…N…U…T," she spelled aloud. "Do not?"

A voice in front of her replied. "Donut."

Sakura giggled. "Thank you, _otouto-san_ (little brother)!"

The boy turned to scowl at her, a vein throbbing furiously on his forehead. "It's HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU!"

The kunoichi looked disbelieving at the tiny white haired captain. "Of your junior school soccer team?"

Hitsugaya's face turned a nasty shade of purple.

Luckily, she was saved from his furious retort by a loud cry. "Oh _Taichou_! We're going back home!"

A busty, blonde woman in black robes dipping dangerously low popped up beside them. "_Taichou_, you shouldn't go losing your temper to girls like this," she gently chided him, before winking at Sakura. "Especially when they're cute like her."

"Let me go, Matsumoto…!"

"Oh alright _Taichou_, I understand you're only nice to Karin and no one else. Why don't we leave Ichigo to pick up your donuts while we go and pack up?" Matsumoto threw the pinkette another dazzling wink, before dragging the reluctant Hitsugaya with her.

"Eh?" It was only then that she noticed the orange-haired Shinigami standing behind her.

His hazel eyes snapped to her. "Who are you?"

"Haruno Sakura," she replied, her eyes already running over the list of donut flavours on the signboard. "What's…cho…co…late?"

A stunned silence followed her question.

"You don't know what's chocolate?" The Shinigami stared at her.

She huffed. "I know strawberry. Isn't that already the best flavour in the world?"

An amused look passed through his eyes, before he said, "I'll buy you a chocolate donut."

"That's sweet of you…urr…"

He sighed, already anticipating her snicker after he answered. "Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo."

…..

**A/N**: Please review if you had a laugh Hints of HitsuKarin and IchiSaku if you squint.

Fun facts: Ichigo's favourite flavour is chocolate. And in case you've been living under a rock, _ichigo_ also means strawberry in Japanese.


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